By Katherine Covell, PhD (2010) for About Kids Health
In our hurried world, it is common for much of the communication between parents and their children to consist of the ‘didjas.’ Didja do your homework? Didja brush your teeth? Didja put the cat out? But children have a right to much more than the didjas. The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child says that children have a right to have their voices heard, and to have their thoughts solicited and taken into account on matters that affect them. Children have a right to be listened to in their homes, schools, and communities.
The right to participate in decisions
The Convention on the Rights of the Child is the first international document on children’s rights that includes rights to participation. A guiding principle of the Convention calls on governments to ensure that children are given opportunities to express their views on all matters that affect them. Of course, a child’s right to be a part of decisions has limits. The right to speak, be heard, and inform decisions grows along with the child’s capacity, and full self-determination comes with adulthood. But the child always has a right to express opinions about things that affect her. To support the right to participation, the Convention includes other rights: a right to freedom of expression, freedom of thought, conscience and religion, and the right to freedom of association and peaceful assembly. These participation rights may be the most challenging and difficult in the Convention. But like the child’s right to be protected and provided for, participation is a key ingredient of social health and adult citizenship.
The importance of participation in the family
Participation in the family is a need as well as a right. Children need to be involved in their family’s decisions for healthy social and cognitive development. Participating in the family at his own level teaches the child that he matters, and that he can make positive changes in his environment. These practices enhance self-esteem, build confidence, and develop social and cognitive skills. Helping a child participate according to his age and abilities is characteristic of a democratic style of child rearing.
Democratic parents encourage their children to express their opinions on matters that affect them and they encourage their children to explore options in a way appropriate to their age. A three-year old might be asked his thoughts on whether the family should visit the zoo, the beach, or the park, with discussion about the relative merits of each. A 10 year-old might be asked her thoughts on becoming involved in music, drama, or athletics as an extracurricular activity, and encouraged to consider her talents and interests. The child’s views are taken into account, but not necessarily acted upon. When they decide to act contrary to the child’s wishes, democratic parents explain their reasoning to the child. In this way, the child can learn a lot about effective decision-making.
Different parental styles were first described by psychologist Diana Baumrind in the 1960s. Since then, the benefits of a democratic approach to child rearing have grown clearer. Children raised in this way have better social competence and improved academic skills. Compared with children raised by permissive, neglectful, or authoritarian parents, children raised in democratic families will have more self-esteem, self-reliance, self-control, and social maturity. They also have fewer behavioural problems.
It is particularly interesting that adolescents who have been raised in a democratic style show lower levels of risk-taking behaviour: they report less sexual activity, fewer high-risk sexual behaviours, lower rates of tobacco and alcohol use, low levels of interpersonal conflict, and good conflict resolution skills.
Despite these demonstrated benefits, surveys indicate that most parents in Canada do not raise their children in a democratic fashion. It is perhaps the most challenging of all child rearing styles. It takes time and patience. Yet all parents want their children to achieve the positive physical and mental outcomes that come with a democratic approach to parenthood. Some nations that signed the Convention have actually placed a legal obligation on parents to consult their children on matters that affect them, in essence requiring them to use a democratic approach. This has been done to varying degrees in Norway, Sweden, Germany, Finland, Denmark, and Scotland. Sweden’s Code of Parenthood and Guardianship, for example, states that the child’s caregiver shall give increasing allowance for the child’s views as the child ages and develops. This type of legislation may seem too intrusive, but it certainly sends a clear message about how important it is for parents to respect the participation rights of the child. At the very least, strong programs of parent education should be considered as part of a participation-friendly public policy.
The importance of participation in the school
A lot of concern has been expressed over the past decade about the number of adolescents who leave school with poor grades, no sense of connection to their community, and little interest in participating in our democracy. Youth often lack the skills to be a part of their community, even when they wish to be heard. Responses to these concerns have centred on increasing standards and testing and on citizenship education. What schools generally have failed to do is actually enact the participation rights of the child. Calls for democratic schools largely have been met with silence. And meaningful participation in school is rare.
Schools and classrooms should be democratic, with respect for rights and democratic principles modeled by teachers and administrators. A democratic teacher is supportive, recognizes students’ accomplishments, and encourages the meaningful participation of students in classroom procedures and practices.
Democratic schools share five characteristics:
Unfortunately, large-scale school reform would be needed to enable widespread democratic schooling, since currently the curricula are set above the level of school boards, let alone classrooms. There would also need to be significant changes in teacher training. Until then, children’s rights to participate in their schools will, in large part, continue to be disregarded as they learn to follow orders, engage in rote learning, and become disengaged.
The importance of participation in the community
The Convention is quite specific about the child’s right to participate and be heard in legal and administrative proceedings that affect the child. But participation rights in the community means much more than legal proceedings. Participation rights should also be respected at all levels of community and government decision-making. When youth participate in their communities, there are benefits all around.
Many young people see their neighbourhoods and communities as places that neither accept nor provide for them — places where nobody is listening. As a result, the youth feel bored, disrespected, and disempowered. For social acceptance, empowerment, and sense of self they turn to peer groups. Some alienated youth gravitate toward gangs. In turn, gang membership encourages crime and violence. Adults tend to respond with fear and with interventions designed to stop youth from doing things like skateboarding. There may be complaints to police, police ask youth to move along, residents alarm their homes, and in some communities curfews are adopted. The gap between youth and adults grows wider. Communities that engage with and listen to young people have healthier and more socially constructive youth. Community initiatives that include children and youth not only enhance the psychological well-being of the young people, but they also are more likely to be successful.
In one striking example, an inner city play area was being designed for four- and five-year-olds. The “local” officials planned to put down grass. But the children wanted concrete. The children explained that grass made it difficult to see broken glass and discarded needles. The officials had not thought of this important piece of information. Adults who work with, rather than for, children — even four-year-olds — reap many benefits.
The voices of youth
The value of listening to children and youth has been demonstrated by research. But it may be the most compelling when you experience it yourself. I’ve worked with children and adolescents on the UN Global Study on Violence Against Children over the past two years, giving me many opportunities to hear from a wide variety of children. In all our discussions, the children and youth stressed that they needed adults to listen. Whether talking to me about their homes, their schools, or their communities, they emphasized their need to be heard.
Here are some examples of their comments.
“Asking kids what they think is so important. It makes kids feel good and it tells people what we think.”
“Nobody ever thinks to ask the kids how we feel. Things that might not seem very important to you are very important to us. We should be allowed to express ourselves.”
“Parents should listen to their children more.”
“They don’t have time for their kids, for what they are saying, they don’t even want to listen.” “(Parents) make them (children) feel that they are not loved or accepted for who they are. This is emotional violence.”
Ultimately, children’s participation rights are extraordinarily important in their development towards a healthy adulthood. The importance of respecting all children’s rights is summed up in the following words of one youth: “Childhood is the time that matters most and what happens to you as a child will stay with you the rest of your life.”
ReferencesCovell K, Howe RB. The challenge of children’s rights for Canada. Waterloo: Wilfrid Laurier University Press; 2001.
Baumrind D. Effects of authoritative parental control on child behavior. Child Development, 1966; 37(4):887-907.
Jackson C, Henricksen L, Foshee V. The Authoritative Parenting Index: Predicting health risk behaviors among children and adolescents. Health & Education and Behavior 1998; 25(3):319-337.
Print M, Ornstrom S, Nielsen HS. Education for democratic processes in schools and classrooms. European Journal of Education. 2002; 37(2):193-210.
Howe RB, Covell K. Empowering children: Children’s Rights Education as a Pathway to Citizenship. Toronto: University of Toronto Press; 2005.
Berman S. Children’s Social Consciousness and the Development of Social Responsibility. Albany: State University of New York Press; 1997.
Lansdown G. Promoting Children’s Participation in Democratic Decision Making. Florence Italy: UNICEF Innocenti Centre; 2001.
Covell K. United Nations Secretary-General’s Study on Violence Against Children. North American Regional Consultation. Toronto: UNICEF; 2005
Back to Expression Main Page
In our hurried world, it is common for much of the communication between parents and their children to consist of the ‘didjas.’ Didja do your homework? Didja brush your teeth? Didja put the cat out? But children have a right to much more than the didjas. The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child says that children have a right to have their voices heard, and to have their thoughts solicited and taken into account on matters that affect them. Children have a right to be listened to in their homes, schools, and communities.
The right to participate in decisions
The Convention on the Rights of the Child is the first international document on children’s rights that includes rights to participation. A guiding principle of the Convention calls on governments to ensure that children are given opportunities to express their views on all matters that affect them. Of course, a child’s right to be a part of decisions has limits. The right to speak, be heard, and inform decisions grows along with the child’s capacity, and full self-determination comes with adulthood. But the child always has a right to express opinions about things that affect her. To support the right to participation, the Convention includes other rights: a right to freedom of expression, freedom of thought, conscience and religion, and the right to freedom of association and peaceful assembly. These participation rights may be the most challenging and difficult in the Convention. But like the child’s right to be protected and provided for, participation is a key ingredient of social health and adult citizenship.
The importance of participation in the family
Participation in the family is a need as well as a right. Children need to be involved in their family’s decisions for healthy social and cognitive development. Participating in the family at his own level teaches the child that he matters, and that he can make positive changes in his environment. These practices enhance self-esteem, build confidence, and develop social and cognitive skills. Helping a child participate according to his age and abilities is characteristic of a democratic style of child rearing.
Democratic parents encourage their children to express their opinions on matters that affect them and they encourage their children to explore options in a way appropriate to their age. A three-year old might be asked his thoughts on whether the family should visit the zoo, the beach, or the park, with discussion about the relative merits of each. A 10 year-old might be asked her thoughts on becoming involved in music, drama, or athletics as an extracurricular activity, and encouraged to consider her talents and interests. The child’s views are taken into account, but not necessarily acted upon. When they decide to act contrary to the child’s wishes, democratic parents explain their reasoning to the child. In this way, the child can learn a lot about effective decision-making.
Different parental styles were first described by psychologist Diana Baumrind in the 1960s. Since then, the benefits of a democratic approach to child rearing have grown clearer. Children raised in this way have better social competence and improved academic skills. Compared with children raised by permissive, neglectful, or authoritarian parents, children raised in democratic families will have more self-esteem, self-reliance, self-control, and social maturity. They also have fewer behavioural problems.
It is particularly interesting that adolescents who have been raised in a democratic style show lower levels of risk-taking behaviour: they report less sexual activity, fewer high-risk sexual behaviours, lower rates of tobacco and alcohol use, low levels of interpersonal conflict, and good conflict resolution skills.
Despite these demonstrated benefits, surveys indicate that most parents in Canada do not raise their children in a democratic fashion. It is perhaps the most challenging of all child rearing styles. It takes time and patience. Yet all parents want their children to achieve the positive physical and mental outcomes that come with a democratic approach to parenthood. Some nations that signed the Convention have actually placed a legal obligation on parents to consult their children on matters that affect them, in essence requiring them to use a democratic approach. This has been done to varying degrees in Norway, Sweden, Germany, Finland, Denmark, and Scotland. Sweden’s Code of Parenthood and Guardianship, for example, states that the child’s caregiver shall give increasing allowance for the child’s views as the child ages and develops. This type of legislation may seem too intrusive, but it certainly sends a clear message about how important it is for parents to respect the participation rights of the child. At the very least, strong programs of parent education should be considered as part of a participation-friendly public policy.
The importance of participation in the school
A lot of concern has been expressed over the past decade about the number of adolescents who leave school with poor grades, no sense of connection to their community, and little interest in participating in our democracy. Youth often lack the skills to be a part of their community, even when they wish to be heard. Responses to these concerns have centred on increasing standards and testing and on citizenship education. What schools generally have failed to do is actually enact the participation rights of the child. Calls for democratic schools largely have been met with silence. And meaningful participation in school is rare.
Schools and classrooms should be democratic, with respect for rights and democratic principles modeled by teachers and administrators. A democratic teacher is supportive, recognizes students’ accomplishments, and encourages the meaningful participation of students in classroom procedures and practices.
Democratic schools share five characteristics:
- Systematic opportunities are provided for students to participate in decisions that affect them.
- Students are able to freely think about and express their views on issues of interest and relevance to them.
- The classroom climate is such that different perspectives and opinions can be expressed without threat to personal dignity.
- Each student experiences fair and equitable treatment.
- Students have opportunities to learn how to be active contributors to their class, their community, and their society, and to discover the social significance of knowledge.
Unfortunately, large-scale school reform would be needed to enable widespread democratic schooling, since currently the curricula are set above the level of school boards, let alone classrooms. There would also need to be significant changes in teacher training. Until then, children’s rights to participate in their schools will, in large part, continue to be disregarded as they learn to follow orders, engage in rote learning, and become disengaged.
The importance of participation in the community
The Convention is quite specific about the child’s right to participate and be heard in legal and administrative proceedings that affect the child. But participation rights in the community means much more than legal proceedings. Participation rights should also be respected at all levels of community and government decision-making. When youth participate in their communities, there are benefits all around.
Many young people see their neighbourhoods and communities as places that neither accept nor provide for them — places where nobody is listening. As a result, the youth feel bored, disrespected, and disempowered. For social acceptance, empowerment, and sense of self they turn to peer groups. Some alienated youth gravitate toward gangs. In turn, gang membership encourages crime and violence. Adults tend to respond with fear and with interventions designed to stop youth from doing things like skateboarding. There may be complaints to police, police ask youth to move along, residents alarm their homes, and in some communities curfews are adopted. The gap between youth and adults grows wider. Communities that engage with and listen to young people have healthier and more socially constructive youth. Community initiatives that include children and youth not only enhance the psychological well-being of the young people, but they also are more likely to be successful.
In one striking example, an inner city play area was being designed for four- and five-year-olds. The “local” officials planned to put down grass. But the children wanted concrete. The children explained that grass made it difficult to see broken glass and discarded needles. The officials had not thought of this important piece of information. Adults who work with, rather than for, children — even four-year-olds — reap many benefits.
The voices of youth
The value of listening to children and youth has been demonstrated by research. But it may be the most compelling when you experience it yourself. I’ve worked with children and adolescents on the UN Global Study on Violence Against Children over the past two years, giving me many opportunities to hear from a wide variety of children. In all our discussions, the children and youth stressed that they needed adults to listen. Whether talking to me about their homes, their schools, or their communities, they emphasized their need to be heard.
Here are some examples of their comments.
“Asking kids what they think is so important. It makes kids feel good and it tells people what we think.”
“Nobody ever thinks to ask the kids how we feel. Things that might not seem very important to you are very important to us. We should be allowed to express ourselves.”
“Parents should listen to their children more.”
“They don’t have time for their kids, for what they are saying, they don’t even want to listen.” “(Parents) make them (children) feel that they are not loved or accepted for who they are. This is emotional violence.”
Ultimately, children’s participation rights are extraordinarily important in their development towards a healthy adulthood. The importance of respecting all children’s rights is summed up in the following words of one youth: “Childhood is the time that matters most and what happens to you as a child will stay with you the rest of your life.”
ReferencesCovell K, Howe RB. The challenge of children’s rights for Canada. Waterloo: Wilfrid Laurier University Press; 2001.
Baumrind D. Effects of authoritative parental control on child behavior. Child Development, 1966; 37(4):887-907.
Jackson C, Henricksen L, Foshee V. The Authoritative Parenting Index: Predicting health risk behaviors among children and adolescents. Health & Education and Behavior 1998; 25(3):319-337.
Print M, Ornstrom S, Nielsen HS. Education for democratic processes in schools and classrooms. European Journal of Education. 2002; 37(2):193-210.
Howe RB, Covell K. Empowering children: Children’s Rights Education as a Pathway to Citizenship. Toronto: University of Toronto Press; 2005.
Berman S. Children’s Social Consciousness and the Development of Social Responsibility. Albany: State University of New York Press; 1997.
Lansdown G. Promoting Children’s Participation in Democratic Decision Making. Florence Italy: UNICEF Innocenti Centre; 2001.
Covell K. United Nations Secretary-General’s Study on Violence Against Children. North American Regional Consultation. Toronto: UNICEF; 2005
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